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What's in a name?
10:34 am on Saturday, Jul. 24, 2004


I was thinking about names. How important names can be, how much we identify with the name we're given, and how far we'll go sometimes not to see it profained.

My given name is Joyce Marie. My mother's mother's name is Joyce and my father's mother's name is Marie, hence my name. It's a tradition. I'll be carrying it on, if I ever have a daughter.

My grandparent's called me Joy. I lived with them for the first few years of my life, and it was to prevent confusion. And so, Joy was the name I had in the happy part of my childhood.

Then my mother got married. My step father called me Joy, and it felt nasty coming out of his mouth. For a long time, until just a few years ago in fact, I was Joyce, not Joy. Joy is a special name for me, and just anyone saying it seemed wrong. My grandparents, and that was all.

Then I met John. He called me Joy from the beginning. He said I was his Joy, his Joylove, and he loves me, and that fixed it in my mind. It's a name of love, not anger. Now it's to the point that when he calls me Joyce, it almost feels like a slap in the face. He says the name out of love for me, and that makes it right. That's the way it was said from my grandparents, from all those in that part of my life. Now that I feel that love again. . .

It's almost like Joy was the happy little girl I was. She was loved, but then something happened to hurt her, and so she receeded. Now, with real, safe, strong love in my life again, Joy is back, happy, and grown up. She has the love of God, the love of Christ, and the love of John. And the innocent love of my children. She thrives on it. I thrive on it. Love is the means by which we survive this world.

That's why my name is Joy, no matter what I might have said before. Call me either one, but Joy is who I am now.

God is good, and I love my husband!

Joy

the latest:
A prayer for today. . . - Monday, Aug. 29, 2005
A baby. . . - Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2005
Update. . .a baby!!! - Saturday, Jul. 16, 2005
Easter. . . - Monday, Mar. 28, 2005
Today is the day that the Lord has made. . . - Monday, Mar. 21, 2005

before & after